![Samantha](https://s3.amazonaws.com/tfh-medias/_participantLg/avatar39924.jpg?mtime=20240828130351)
I’m a 39yrs old from NJ, who is the sister to 6 brothers & 3 sisters, and the aunt to 9 nieces & 3 nephews. My family is my life! I also love make my teenage dreams come true over and over again with concerts & conventions with my 90s Favorites! I love cheer & dance and will incorporate it into anything I can, even BSB pictures! I have struggled most of my life with anxiety & depression related to trauma & undiagnosed ADHD, but I have been consistently determined that it would not hold me back in life. Despite childhood bullying, an absentee father, religious abuse,, loss of parents and additional traumatic events throughout my life, I’ve always believed that there was a way to use those hardships to help others in some way. I believe I have a story to tell and that my journey of personal growth & self discovery isn’t over. As I am approaching 40, I am facing a major life decision on whether to continue on in a toxic relationship, believing “this time will be different,” or to move forward on my own- choosing to love myself above anyone else for the first time in my life. I think I know what I need to do, but this show might be the push I need to finally learn what is really means to love myself, even if it means losing someone else I love.
I love the idea of showing that beauty is not about the medias standard that is thrown in our faces every day. Anyone can spend enough money to appear attractive, but that doesn’t necessarily make them a beautiful person. I grew up playing the game of “compare and despair” when I would see the standards for beauty in media. I spent my teen years trying to perfect the way that I looked on the outside, but still felt insecure about myself because I could never measure up. It wasn’t until I started looking inward that I found my authentic self, and a person that I have learned to truly love.
I truly believe that we can take all of the things we have experienced in life, both positive & negative, and use them to do something good for others. I have been through a lot in my life & Ive worked VERY hard to heal, especially after the loss of my mom. I live-stream regularly & share about my experiences & like to create a safe space for others to share as well. I am not afraid to be vulnerable, especially if it means I can positively affect someone else. I believe that the things I have experienced have only made me stronger & taught me how to CHOOSE happiness and joy. I’ve learned to love who I am and what makes me unique & I feel that each day is a new opportunity to learn and grow. I shared a link to a YouTube episode I was on where I shared about my family & some of the challenges we faced together. The interview starts at about the 32 min mark.